So Don’t You Knock On My Door
…I won’t be home anymore……
A couple of weeks ago, after growing weary of being too cold on some nights, not many nights, but even one is too many, I went upstairs and looked through all the closets until, in the very last one, because, of course, I found the quilt. It’s not just any quilt. It’s a quilt my great grandmother made, sewed by hand, stitch by stitch. And it’s way cool, all different colors in the softest corduroy I’ve ever felt. And it’s made of little puffy squares and was therefore called The Puffy Quilt by all us kids. It stayed in my grandmother’s house for over a hundred years and we fought over it when we visited. I have it now because, of course, lol! Anyways, it’s kind of heavy, usually too much to sleep under, and you get hot and kick it off. Sometimes, though, it’s not quite warm enough and you double it over, thinking that will help, but it really doesn’t. This morning, I was lying under this quilt that is never quite right, with my eyes closed, thinking how I just wasn’t going to speak to this old friend of mine anymore. I was done, I decided; done trying, done being the only communicator, done with it all. I mean, friendship is supposed to go both ways and, when it doesn’t, one person usually feels somewhat resentful. In this case, that person was me. I counted in my mind and on my fingers, exactly how many days it had been since our last conversation and decided it was too many. Enough. Never again. It was at this precise moment that my phone began to vibrate on the nightstand and I knew, I just knew….. Because, of course. And, later, someone told me of a situation they were in with someone they were kinda dating, maybe dating, they couldn’t be sure. Maybe they were just friends, but it seemed closer than friendship, somehow. She hadn’t heard from him lately and she was tired of waiting and wondering so, she gave up, moved on, she was done……. and, then, her phone rang. Check out The Quilt below. I’ll bet you can all relate, or could, at some point in your life.
…….you can find me out walking in the sun
The Quilt
This morning, before I even opened my eyes Before I pushed aside the quilt The quilt that is both too heavy and too light And never just right and reminds me of us I decided that I was done, done with you, done with me Done with you and me If there really was such a thing Such a thing besides the waiting, the wondering The roller coaster highs and lows The sudden rat-a-tat racing pulse when we stood a little too close. A little too close for friends; a little too far for lovers Fumbling to define the in between. This morning, before I even opened my eyes But after I had decided The phone I both love and loathe rattled and buzzed on the wobbly table The one I both love and loathe And I knew, I just knew, it would be you And all of this All of this resolve would be pushed aside Pushed aside with the quilt The quilt that is both too heavy and too light. And never just right